Be Kind

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” This is one of my favorite quotes. There are variations on it. It sometimes is rendered “a harder battle,” “a great battle” or “a difficult battle.” Another version says, “Be kind. Everyone you meet is carrying a heavy burden.”

It is not clear who first spoke these words. It is often attributed to Plato or Socrates, but that is almost certainly false. From what I can determine, the original author is the Reverend John Watson, a minister of the Free Church of Scotland, who died in 1907 and wrote under the pseudonym Ian MacLaren. Regardless of who said it and when they said it, the sentiment resonates with me.

I have reworked the maxim over the years. These days I tend to paraphrase it like this: “Be compassionate, for you never know what a person is going through. Everyone is doing their best to just get through the day.” This version is not as pithy or memorable as the original, but it conveys my sentiments.

I have been privy to the confidential struggles of many people over my forty years of fulltime pastoral ministry. It is amazing how much suffering goes unnoticed. It has made me very aware of the unseen dimension of people’s lives. People may appear to have it all together, but the chances are that they are struggling with serious issues.

When I encounter a rude or angry person, (including nasty comments on my blog or YouTube channel) I am tempted to be judgmental and critical of them. Then I try to imagine what they might be going through. Who knows what is going on in their lives? Who knows the pain – physical or emotional – that this person has to live with? Who knows about their upbringing or what is going on in their home?

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths.” Those are the opening words of the bestselling book, The Road Less Traveled, by psychiatrist M. Scott Peck. It was a book that helped me through a difficult time. His words are a variation of the Buddha’s First noble Truth: Life is suffering.

The Buddha also said, “Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering.” That is why I try not to judge anyone. They are undoubtedly doing the best they can. And if hate and bitterness is the best they can do, just imagine the burden they are carrying! Their coping mechanisms may seem inappropriate to me, but I am not living their life.

I try to imagine what it would be like to be them. I try to peek into their heart and imagine what causes a person to act and speak the way they do. As Jesus said, “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” How awful to be trapped in such a mind with such thoughts and emotions! Only those living in hell would make life hell for others.

Jesus told a story of a rich man in hell, who asked Father Abraham (the first century equivalent of Saint Peter) for some help. He begged, “Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.” Old Abe says he can’t do that, explaining, “between us and you a great chasm has been set in place, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.”

I never liked that answer. It can easily be used as an excuse to do nothing in the face of others’ suffering. I can’t believe that was Jesus’ intent. It is more likely that Jesus was prompting us to do more than Abraham could do - to “exceed the righteousness of the scribe and Pharisees,” as Jesus says elsewhere.

Neither do I like the Christian doctrine of hell as an afterlife of eternal torment. It is unworthy of a loving, merciful God. The theological sophistry used to justify such a place does not convince me. I recorded a YouTube video entitled “Hell as Theological Terrorism” to explain my reasoning. I interpret hell as a metaphor for those whose life on earth is “a living hell.”

There is a great gap between those who suffer “hell on earth” and those who live in the Presence of God. We feel helpless in the face of hellish suffering. Perhaps no one can bridge that gap, but we can try. The least we can do is offer a cup of water in Jesus’ name.

Maybe Abraham couldn’t cross over, but Jesus could. The creed says he “descended into hell.” That descent was not to gloat over people’s suffering but to set the captives free. Jesus was always merciful, even to those who caused him pain. Jesus said, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”

Life is tough. We are all playing the role of hero just to get through life without giving up. Some people have been dealt a much worse hand than I have. And who knows what hand I will receive in the years ahead? Who am I to judge another? Jesus instructed, “Judge not, lest you be judged.” So I will show mercy to those I meet.